Quotes Of Saint Ashley Cole

Just browsing through the same old forum and found this thread totally dedicated to the wonderful quotes of Ashley Cole.

Looking at those quotes, what a wonderful man he is. Brings back good memories of the time I spent laughing at his well documented autobiography.

Anyway here are the picks:

I'd love to be captain of Arsenal one day

With all due respect to Cesc, he is no Patrick Vieira

When I heard Jonathan (Barnett) repeat the figure of £55k, I nearly swerved off the road. “He is taking the piss, Jonathan!” I yelled down the phone. I was so incensed. I was trembling with anger. I couldn’t believe what I’d heard. I suppose it all started to fall apart for me from then on. I’d trusted Mr Dein to push the deal through.

My heart and soul was tied to Arsenal with a fisherman’s knot.

I’m not asking for sympathy — just an awareness of what’s gone on, how I didn’t want to leave and how I feel the board messed things up. Not me. This situation couldn’t have just been my fault. I’m not disloyal. I’m a loyal and honest person and I’ve got principles. I can wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror knowing that I’ve done no wrong. I tried to be fair. I tried to be decent. I wonder if the Arsenal board could say the same?

My worst fears were confirmed when, as Thierry (Henry) and I sat in the centre circle after the final whistle, his name was sung from the rooftops while my contribution was recognised by a deafening silence. As his chants faded away we waited for mine. And we waited. And there was nothing. “They’re not bothered about me,” I said, resigned to the fact. It was like I was the invisible man

The deal he offered was a £10,000-a-week increase to £35,000. A hell of a lot of money. But, when taken in the context of football wages and his own estimated value of me of £20 million, and when placed next to those other Arsenal wages of between £80,000 and £100,000 a week, his offer was a p*ss-take. It was a slap in the face, not a pat on the back.

Haha, the epitome of all that is wrong about modern day footballer. Stand up, Ashley. Reach for your back and give yourself a big pat.

When Commentators Say 'Oops!

From Some People Are On The Pitch

1. "Well Clive, it's all about the two 'M's - movement and positioning." (Ron Atkinson, ITV)

2. "For those of you watching in black and white, Spurs are in the all-yellow strip." (John Motson, BBC)

3. "You need at least eight or nine men in a ten-man wall." (Mark Lawrenson, BBC)

4. "An inch or two either side of the post and that would have been a goal." (Dave Bassett)

5. "Neil Baker is standing on the touchline with his hands in his tracksuit bottoms scratching his head." (Chris Kamara, Sky Sports)

6. "Keith Gillespie just lacks a bit of inconsistency" (Graeme Le Saux, BBC)

7. "With news of Scotland's 0-0 victory over Holland..." (Scottish Television presenter)

8. "They've tasted the other side of the coin on so many occasions." (Andy Townsend)

9. "We haven't had the rub of the dice." (Sir Bobby Robson)

10. "There's a real international flavour to this World Cup." (Jimmy Armfield, BBC Radio Five Live)

11. "Ian Pearce... has limped off with what looks like a shoulder injury." (Tony Cottee)

12. "Matches don't come any bigger than FA Cup quarter-finals" (Neil Warnock, BBC Radio 5 Live)

Oh Gordon!

Gordon Strachan, remember him? Used to be the manager of the team I have soft spot for, which is Southampton. Gotta admire his quotes here

Reporter: Gordon, Do you think James Beattie deserves to be in the England squad?
Strachan: I dont care, I'm Scottish

Reporter: "Gordon, can we have a quick word please?"
Strachan: "Velocity" [walks off]

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: "I've got more important things to think about. I've got a
yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my
priority rather than Agustin Delgado."

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe! jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there....

Quotes From Brian Clough

He led Nottingham Forest to their European glory and considered one of the best British managers. He sadly passed away 2 years back but his legacy lives on

Especially with quotes like these:


If God had wanted us to play football in the clouds, he'd have put grass up there." On the importance of playing football on the ground.

"Manchester United in Brazil? I hope they all get bloody diarrhea." On Man Utd opting-out of the FA Cup to play in the World Club Championship.

"I can't even spell spaghetti never mind talk Italian. How could I tell an Italian to get the ball - he might grab mine." On foreign players.

"I bet their dressing room will smell of garlic rather than liniment over the next few months." On the number of French players at Arsenal.

"Who the hell wants fourteen pairs of shoes when you go on holiday? I haven't had fourteen pairs in my life." On Posh Spice's missing luggage.

"I wouldn't say I was the best manager in the business. But I was in the top one." On success.

"On occasions I have been big headed. I think most people are when they get in the limelight. I call myself Big Head just to remind myself not to be." On his nickname.

"At last England have appointed a manager who speaks English better than the players." On the appointment of Sven Goran Eriksson as England manager.

"If he'd been English or Swedish, he'd have walked the England job." On Martin O'Neill.

"Anybody who can do anything in Leicester but make a jumper has got to be a genius." On Martin O'Neill.

"The ugliest player I ever signed was Kenny Burns." A compliment to Kenny Burns.

"Stand up straight, get your shoulders back and get your hair cut." Advice for John McGovern at Hartlepool.

"Take your hands out of your pockets." Advice to Trevor Francis as he received an award.

"The Derby players have seen more of his balls than the one they're meant to be playing with." On the streaker who appeared during Derby County v Manchester United.

"I only ever hit Roy the once. He got up so I couldn't have hit him very hard." On Roy Keane.

"Walk on water? I know most people out there will be saying that instead of walking on it, I should have taken more of it with my drinks. They are absolutely right." On his alcohol problem.

"I'm dealing with my drinking problem and I have a reputation for getting things done." On his alcohol problem.

"Don't send me flowers when I'm dead. If you like me, send them while I'm alive." After an operation.

"Players lose you games, not tactics. There's so much crap talked about tactics by people who barely know how to win at dominoes." On England's exit from Euro 2000.

"We talk about it for twenty minutes and then we decide I was right." On dealing with players who disagree.

"I want no epitaphs of profound history and all that type of thing. I contributed - I would hope they would say that, and I would hope somebody liked me," On how he would like to be remembered.

"It was a crooked match and he was a crooked referee. That was a tournament we could and should have won." On the 1984 UEFA Cup semi-final Forest lost to Anderlecht.

"I'm sure the England selectors thought if they took me on and gave me the job, I'd want to run the show. They were shrewd, because that's exactly what I would have done." On being rejected for the England manager's job.

"You don't want roast beef and Yorkshire every night and twice on Sunday." On too much football on television.

"If a chairman sacks the manager he initially appointed, he should go as well." On too many managers getting the boot.

"I thought it was my next door neighbour, because I think she felt that if I got something like that, I'd have to move." Guessing who nominated him for a knighthood.

"For all his horses, knighthoods and championships, he hasn't got two of what I've got. And I don't mean balls!" Referring to Sir Alex Ferguson's failure to win two successive European Cups.

"I like my women to be feminine, not sliding into tackles and covered in mud." On women's football.

''That Seaman is a handsome young man but he spends too much time looking in his mirror, rather than at the ball. You can't keep goal with hair like that." On England goalkeeper David Seaman.

"I've missed him. He used to make me laugh. He was the best diffuser of a situation I have ever known. I hope he's all right." On the late Peter Taylor.

"He's learned more about football management than he ever imagined. Some people think you can take football boots off and put a suit on. You can't do that." On ex-England player David Platt's first season as Forest manager.

"He should guide Posh in the direction of a singing coach because she's nowhere near as good at her job as her husband." On David Beckham.

"Barbara's supervising the move. She's having more extensions built than Heathrow Airport." On moving house in Derbyshire, England.