Monday, October 23, 2006

Football 365's View On Chelsea

Again, not written by me but some bloke on the forums. It's sh*t funny but accurate at the same time because this is the sterotype you get on F365.


Petr Cech – only looks good because of the defense

Carlo Cudicni – money grabbing b*stard, only looks good because of the defense

Paulo Ferreira – José’s boot boy, sh*t

Ricardo Carvalho – totally sh*t, silly hair

John Terry – only looks good because of Makalele, 6th best defender in England., useless immobile thug, should play basketball, The Queen Elizabeth II turned quicker, chav b*stard

Ashley Cole – cashley c**t, formerly best left back in the world now sh*te and nowhere near as good as the best defender in the world now playing in N5, everything that is wrong with the world is summed up in him, his bird is a pig my missus is nicer

Michael Essien – utter thug deserves to have his legs broken, 26 million? 'avin a laugh!

Claude Makalele – old man, water carrier, slow overrated, Gilberto is far better

Frank Lampard – fat frw*nk, overrated, only looks good because of Makalele, only scores deflections ever, 2nd best player in the world?!?! Ha ha ha , Gerrard >>>Lampard, fat slow only got in West Ham team because of his dad, super goals, single handedly cost England the world cup we would’ve won it if it wasn’t for Lumpard, makes Gerrard play poorly for England, fat b*stard

Arjen Robben : the only player ever to dive ever in English football, overrated, runs funny

Joe Cole : downs syndrome, Jose has ruined him

Dider Drogba: utter sh*te, diving b*stard, big , girl silly, how much!?, dedicates goals to dead people but its really a PR stunt

Michael Ballack – money grabbing b*stard, is past it now anyway, slow and lumbering mercenary

Andrei Shevchenko – as of June the 1st 2006 became, over the hill, dodgy knees, biggest waster of money ever, Romans prize toy, only scored goals at Milan because of the midfield, overrated

Shaun Wright Phillips – who ? ruined by Chelsea, despite being brilliant every time he plays, was born to play for Arsenal how could Chelsea do this to him chav lotto b*stards

Manager : Jose Mourinho - owes everything to one offside descion, my nan could win the premier league with that money, Alan Ball is better in the transfer market, utter classless c**t who I hate, ruins players, has single handedly ruined English football

Owner : Roman Abramovich - murderer. resonsible for the deaths of many poor russian disabled kids. has utterely ruined football for everyone in the whole world, ugly wife who is about to bankrupt him so chelsea are doomed chav b*stards


Pretty accuratly sums up Chelsea with a bit of twists and sarcasm. No offense for that, because it's written by a Chelsea fan...

8 comments:

loveuamy said...

bloody brilliant!

Hafiz said...

HAHAHA ... any chavs here .. lol

DROGBALLS said...

no chavs but alot of ahbengs...haha kidding! :D

Socca said...

lol, people just love to criticize about things outside football

Lawl, interesting read though. ROFLMAO

DROGBALLS said...

Haha you need some off field things to make football a whole lot more enjoyable. ;)

Emma said...

LOL about Cashley. Maybe a little harsh, and Cheryl Tweedy is beautiful. One of the few WAGs who I actually consider pretty.

Anonymous said...

whoever wrote this about chelski needs to be knighted, fucking fucking chelski, frauds, primadonas, wankers. Mourinho has ruined football since he came to england, now only teams play defensivly, most chelski goals are lucky deflections, as cruyf says, they are a boring team, who don't play football. am a gooner myslef, but at least admired united dutring their glory years as they played enjoyable footie. stamford bridge needs to be burned and abramovich lynched or sent to siberia like that other russian crook. simply said, abrahmovich, isn't a clever or brilliant business man like bill gates or sir richard branson. he is a murdered, crook who befriended one of boris yeltsin's relatives to get lucrative deals and there is even evidence that he murdered his way to obtain his olifields in the mid 90's. that's what chelski are = fruads, murderers, crooks and as uefa said to mourinho, 'the enemie(s) of footie'.


we hate u chelski we do, oh chelski we hate u..............

Anonymous said...

whoever wrote this about chelski needs to be knighted, fucking fucking chelski, frauds, primadonas, wankers. Mourinho has ruined football since he came to england, now only teams play defensivly, most chelski goals are lucky deflections, as cruyf says, they are a boring team, who don't play football. am a gooner myslef, but at least admired united dutring their glory years as they played enjoyable footie. stamford bridge needs to be burned and abramovich lynched or sent to siberia like that other russian crook. simply said, abrahmovich, isn't a clever or brilliant business man like bill gates or sir richard branson. he is a murdered, crook who befriended one of boris yeltsin's relatives to get lucrative deals and there is even evidence that he murdered his way to obtain his olifields in the mid 90's. that's what chelski are = fruads, murderers, crooks and as uefa said to mourinho, 'the enemie(s) of footie'.


we hate u chelski we do, oh chelski we hate u..............