Saturday, July 22, 2006

THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THOSE FOOTBALLERS

From F365:

"I not only like to have the TV and light on to help me sleep, but also a vacuum cleaner. Failing that, a fan or a hairdryer will do. I've ruined so many hairdryers by letting them burn out. So far I haven't set fire to anywhere" - Wayne Rooney.


"I'll put my Pepsi cans in the fridge and if there's one too many then I'll put it in another cupboard somewhere. I've got that problem. I'll go into a hotel room. Before I can relax I have to move all the leaflets and all the books and put them in a drawer. Everything has to be perfect" - David Beckham.


"He's got this thing about washing his hands. He washes them, I'm not joking, 15 times a day" - Stevie Gerrard's girlfriend Alex Curran.


"I always pour water down my face in the tunnel before I go out, and I also jump every time I step over the white line. It's not enough to wake me up. I don't even know why I do it" - Rio Ferdinand.


"I've got lots of superstitions. I try to cut them down as I have too many. I wear the same belts, same shoes, same aftershave - I've worn the same aftershave all season...Just stupid things really. If we've been on a winning run of games I won't change my boots. Someone pointed out to me last year that I've worked all my life to be a professional footballer, and yet it comes down to which aftershave I'm wearing as to how well I play!" - Gary Neville.


"When we are at home I always put my boxers at the back of my locker with my ring on top and my watch around my ring. I always warm up with my earring in as well and then after the warm-up I put that in the middle of my ring and then I'm ready to go" - Anton Ferdinand.


"I've got to have the same seat on the bus, tie the tapes round my socks three times and cut my tubular grip for my shin-pads the same size every game. I drive to games listening to the same Usher CD in my car...I always have to park my car in the same spot in the car park" - John Terry.


"I have lucky shin pads. I won the league with Chelsea in them. I left them at home at first, but then I wasn't firing in the friendlies so I got them sent over to Germany. I know superstitions mean nothing and it's all in your head really, but I've got so many it's not true. We'd be here all day talking about them. I never kick the ball in the changing room, I always use the same toilet before the game, there's thousands of them" - Joe Cole.


"I wouldn't call it a ritual but I always put everything on my left first. My socks and my foot in the shorts but that's more about routine I think but you could possibly view that as superstition" - Owen Hargreaves.


"In the warm-up, I would never shoot at the goal because I didn't want to waste a goal. I wanted to save those for the game. I'd always change my shirt in the second half if I hadn't scored in the first, but I'd keep wearing the same shirt if I had scored. If I ever went on a bad run, I'd always get a haircut" - Gary Lineker.

They're humans, after all. :D

And I figured that Becks' future job should be somewhere in the line of a cleaner, or a maid.

PRANK CALL RETURNS!

Thanks alot to the regular reader from Hawaii for your recommendation. Had me in stitches now after listening to all the taped prank calls. Enjoy them, here are my picks!


'Massage Toy' Recall (Mature Content) - Click


'Dirtyturban' (Extremely Racist) - Click



Uhm, not really a nice thing to do. But take heart and have a little childish giggle.

IF YOU GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO.....

TRY THIS GAME!



HAHA

FREAK INJURIES GALORE!

Sorry, if you're looking for gory pictures, then wrong place! But anyway maybe some of you might be aware that Darren Bent, the Charlton striker, will be out for up to 6 weeks because, he cut his hand when he's making some salads at home. Below are a list compiled by F365 on some really weird injuries suffered by footballers:


1) Famously, Dave Beasant, then with Southampton, stuck out a foot to try and trap a bottle of salad cream that fell from a cupboard and was out for a couple of months while the damaged hoof healed.

2) In 1975, Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney dislocated his jaw shouting at his defence. Beat that Mr Schmeichel.

3) Rio Ferdinand tweaked a knee tendon while watching TV with his feet up on a coffee table in January 2001.

4) Not to be outdone by his cousin, Sir Les Ferdinand missed the end of the 2001-2002 season after injuring his wrist while "messing about at home". Least said the better.

5) Darren Barnard, of Barnsley and Wales, was on the sidelines for several months with knee ligament damage after slipping in a pool of puppy pee.

6) Kevin Keegan missed several matches for Liverpool in the early Seventies with a damaged toe - he'd somehow got it stuck in a bath tap.

7) Perry Groves was on the bench for an Arsenal match when he jumped up to celebrate the Gunners going a goal up. He knocked himself out and needed treatment from physio Gary Lewin.

8) Alan Mullery missed England's 1964 tour of South Africa after cricking his back while shaving.

9) Chic Brodie was run into by a dog while playing in goal for Brentford in 1970 and was so badly injured that his league career was virtually finished.

10) Alan McLoughlin of Portsmouth tore tendons in his arm picking up his baby daughter in 1994 and was out for a month.

11) Michael Stensgaard, then a Liverpool reserve goalkeeper, dislocated his shoulder trying to stop an ironing board from falling over. He was out for six months.

12) Celestine Babayaro of Chelsea broke his leg somersaulting to celebrate a goal (scored by someone else) in a pre-season match at Stevenage and didn’t make his debut for the Blues until the October.

13) Darius Vassell injured himself while attempting DIY surgery on his own foot with a drill in 2003. Having read that the way to combat a blood blister was to drain the wound, he attempted it - with a power drill. Funnily enough, he made it worse.

14) David Seaman missed the first half of the 1996-97 season after damaging knee ligaments during the tricky task of picking up the television remote control.

15) Supposed hardman David Batty once re-injured his Achilles when his toddler ran over him on a tricycle. Ouch.

16) Kasey Keller knocked out his front teeth in 1998 when he was pulling his golf bag from the boot of his car.


GOD TO WEAR NO. '9'

New Kit To Be Revealed On Monday!

Liverpool will officially reveal their new adidas home kit for the forthcoming season on Monday afternoon.
The eagerly awaited unveiling will take place with a number of the club's first team players at a special launch at Anfield.


Liverpool Squad Number Announced:

Liverpool have released their squad numbers for the new season and have revealed that Robbie Fowler will wear the famous number nine shirt during the campaign.

Fowler takes over the shirt from Djibril Cisse following the Frenchman's move to Marseille.

New signing Mark Gonzalez will wear eleven, Fabio Aurelio has been given number 12, Craig Bellamy will wear 17 and Gabriel Paletta has chosen the number 29 shirt.

1. Jerzy Dudek
2. Jan Kromkamp
3. Stephen Finnan
4. Sami Hyypia
5. Daniel Agger
6. John Arne Riise
7. Harry Kewell
8. Steven Gerrard
9. Robbie Fowler
10. Luis Garcia
11. Mark Gonzalez
12. Fabio Aurelio
14. Xabi Alonso
15. Peter Crouch
17. Craig Bellamy
20. Scott Carson
21. Djimi Traore
22. Momo Sissoko
23. Jamie Carragher
24. Florent Sinama-Pongolle
25. Jose Reina
28. Stephen Warnock
29. Gabriel Paletta
32. Bolo Zenden
33. Neil Mellor
34. Darren Potter
35. Danny Guthrie
38. David Mannix


Tags: ,

Friday, July 21, 2006

PRANK ON CHINESE TAKEAWAY

I know I'm Chinese and shouldn't be laughing at stuff like that. But seriously, this is one of the funniest clip I've ever heard and it involves this 2 Chinese operators. The guy decides to call the first takeaway restaurant and then went on to call the second restaurant. Then after that, he made the 2 operators talk to EACH OTHER. Listen for that, it's class.

ROFL.LMAO @ FIFA

Marco & Zidane Found Guilty!

Former France captain Zinedine Zidane and Italy defender Marco Materazzi were both fined and banned by FIFA on Thursday after the head-butting incident that marred the World Cup final on July 9.

Zidane, who has retired as a player, was fined £3260 and handed a three-match ban by FIFA's five-man disciplinary committee following his red card for head-butting Materazzi.

As he is no longer a player, he offered to undertake three days of community service on FIFA's behalf which the committee accepted.

The Italian defender, who admitted insulting Zidane, provoking the Frenchman's head-butt, was handed a two-match ban and fined £2170. He attended a hearing last Friday.

The bans apply to international competitive matches, even though it is a symbolic ban for Zidane who has confirmed he has no intention of reversing his decision to quit the game.



Drogballs: What fooking drugs are you on, FIFA(s)? This is really getting into a big joke and will always be remembered for generations to come. Okay, so a retired legend, who was found guilty in headbutting another fellow player, was banned for 3 matches, FOR WHAT? I mean, fine, he's retired. But what's with that 3 days community service? It's really turning into a farce and again underlined how inept FIFA can be sometimes.

What about Marco Materazzi. He got 2 match ban for getting a headbutt and then fined for a paltry sum of money, that I think he'll rather use them as his toilet paper rather than handling them back to Sepp Blatter.

What a bad joke. FIFA. For the good of the game. MY ARSE.

From my point of view. They should've just given stern warnings to the players and alright, fine Zidane for his misconduct. But seriously, who's words do you believe? Zidane said Marco insulted his mam and sis while Marco said no. Any alibis? No. So who can be sure of who's talking the truth while who's talking shit?

Whatever the case, they shouldn't have perseued it further. Just make the two players appear infront of the press, make them shake hands, say a few words of apologies and get on with it. That is all.


Thursday, July 20, 2006

NO WONDER YOU'RE SECOND SEEDED TEAM

Chelsea will push through a £4 million deal for Roberto Carlos - on request of Arkady Abramovich!

Arkady, Roman Abramovich's 12 year-old son, is a massive fan of the Real Madrid superstar and the Mirror says the Brazilian remains a big enough name on the world stage to expand Chelsea's global market.

That is the reason why Chelsea are set to sign BOTH Roberto Carlos and Arsenal left-back Ashley Cole.

Spanish sources say Roberto Carlos will meet with Real coach Fabio Capello and sports director Predrag Mijatovic tomorrow to make a final decision over whether to stay in Madrid or accept a lucrative move to London.


Drogballs: So, they will splash a few million on a player on request from the Russian milker's son. Oh, so very nice from them, eh? I think this sums up everything about Chelski and this make my blood boil. Oh how planet football hates those scummers.

DON'T THINK I'VE POSTED THIS BEFORE....

Top 10 Goals From Steven Gerrard:

A fan-made video, a tribute to the man who's on his way to become the best ever Liverpool player. The wonderful goals he scored for the last 7-8 years have been really important to the club and here are the top 10 goals he scored prior to the 2005/06 season. Remember, this are top 10 goals excluding the 2 goals in the FA Cup Final, the couple against Newcastle and that belter against Middlesbrough. A top, top player that I would not even want to exchange Ronaldinho for to be honest:



Wonderful, just wonderful.

INTERESTING READ...

Neutral's View On Liverpool:

On my regular patrol on various footie forums and found this really interesting article from this American sportswriter who's new to football and knows nothing about the Premiership. And then by viewing various fan mails and research, he sort of lined the teams up from 20th (not likeable) to 1st (most likeable). So he made a report out of it by showing various points on why he thinks they're worth liking or not and also comparison with some of the American sports team (i.e Arsenal = Red Sox). Here's what he thought about Liverpool (he placed us second on the list) :


2. LIVERPOOL

*American Comparison: The Boston Celtics, only if it were 1986 and Lenny Bias made the decision, "I'm never doing drugs."

*Nickname: Reds.

*In a Nutshell: On paper, this seemed like the most appealing team -- a perennial contender with a ton of history, great fans, snazzy uniforms, the best player in the league (midfielder Steven Gerrard, described by multiple readers as the "Big Papi of the EPL") and even their own show on channel 613 ("Liverpool Classics"), as well as an English city that everyone compares to Boston (port city, tons of Irish immigrants and blue-collar people, rivalry with London that mirrors Boston/New York, sports means a little TOO much, etc.). Reading the e-mails about Liverpool almost made me feel like I was reading about a Boston team, actually -- and that's even before finding out that Bob Kraft tried to buy an ownership stake last year. I liked them the most out of anyone.

(Note: Continuing with the Red Sox parallel, they staged the most famous comeback in recent soccer history last year, rallying back from a 3-0 deficit in the second half to win the Champions League. It's hard to say whether this was more or less incredible than the Red Sox rallying back from three games to zero against the Yankees. And if you thought this was a thinly-veiled excuse to mention the 2004 ALCS again, well, you know me too well.)

*Bandwagon Potential: Sadly, a little too high -- especially because of the Big Four thing and Gerrard (who seems like the most likable star in the league, hands down).

*Celebrity Fans: Sporty Spice, Chris DeBurgh, Darren Clarke and Dr. Dre. I think I'd sacrifice a kidney to be in the same room as those four people discussed Liverpool soccer for an hour.


*Colors/Jerseys: Blood-red, absolutely fantastic. I would wear this jersey pretty much all the time.


*Signature Player: Praise for Gerrard from the readers included "the definition of a true leader, last year's MVP, and England's most complete midfielder of his generation" … "the backbone of the current Liverpool team (think: Tony C. times 10)" … "when it comes to clutch, Big Papi is the Steven Gerrard of baseball" … "ROUTINELY goes out to bars after games because he's an average scouser (he was much criticized for this earlier in his career)" … "the Ortiz of English soccer, an inspirational player who has a knack for coming up with a big goal whenever they need it most (he is also likely to be appointed England's new captain now that Beckham has stepped down)" … "a local boy who turned down the chance for millions more from Chelsea and Real Madrid to play for his childhood heroes."

(And if that's not enough, check out his top 10 goals on YouTube, including his famous extra-time goal in the Champions League last year. Imagine if Tom Brady grew up in South Boston before becoming the Pats' QB, then turned down an extra $20 million from the Jets to remain with them. That's what Gerrard means to Liverpool.)


Unintentional Comedy:
Not only do they have a goofy-looking, 6-foot-7 striker named Peter Crouch who's nicknamed "Bambi on Ice" and does the "Robot" after goals, but longtime striker Robbie Fowler was (A) nicknamed "God," and (B) once celebrated after a goal by pretending to sniff the end line.


*Sponsor: Carlsberg Beer. I consider this a major negative. Carlsberg sucks.

*Stadium: Anfield was originally built in 1884 and also received some Fenway Park comparisons from readers, mostly because of the Kop (a banked stand on one side) that's a little Green Monster-esque. Although I wonder if the fans of various teams were buttering me up by describing their stadiums as "a lot like Fenway Park." If so, you succeeded.

*Vacation Destination: Only if you've been kidnapped.

*Most Hated Rival: Any of the London teams.

*Random Depressing Fact: According to a reader, "Back in 1989, 96 Liverpool supporters died in the Hillsborough Stadium Disaster, an event immortalized by the twin flames on the official club shield. Liverpool fans vowed never to forget their fallen comrades, and to this day carry on their memories in banners, scarves, songs and poems. It was an event that actually brought an end to Liverpool's reign of success."

*Bonus reason to pick them: They have the best song: "You'll Never Walk Alone," which sounds eerie when they're belting it out before games and absolutely electric after big victories. It's so good, Pink Floyd even found a way to work it into a song ("Fearless"). I've said it before, I'll say it again: We need to figure out a way to come up with team songs for American sports. How much better would Knicks games be if the fans sang Tom Petty's "Stop Dragging My Heart Around" after every game?

*Another bonus reason to pick them: The Beatles.

*Single Best Reason NOT To Pick Them:
Too much history, too personal, too easy, too obvious. Someone from America can't casually become a Liverpool fan, just like someone from England couldn't have casually become a Red Sox fan before 2004. I just wouldn't have felt right about it.



Drogballs: A pretty neutral view on Liverpool. Summed up pretty well really, that Liverpool is actually quite a likeable team compared to those 'new-age' football teams like ManYoo and L'Arse, who sold their soul to the commercialising world and lacked heritage. Here are some points that I wish to add:

- I don't watch NBA, but can Boston Celtics be compared to Liverpool? They seemed to be a little sh*t now IF I'm not wrong. Afterall, Lakers was my team :p

- I don't drink and I don't really know if Carlsberg sucks, but I thought they owed us a little something after we endorsed them for so many years. Teams like ManYoo and Chelski have already signed deals that are really huge, yet Carlsberg always seemed to hand us some rip-off deals. It's disappointing, but we'll still need to see out the contract for the next 3-4 years.

- Our most hated rivals are not really from all over London, but RIGHT ACROSS THE BLOODY STANLEY PARK. And of course ManYoo.

- If you've been a Liverpool fan before 2001 (like me), you know it sucked big time supporting them. It's not really bandwagon-jumping from people that supported the Reds between 1990-2000 because in that very decade, Liverpool went from the giants to a sleeping one. But we're pretty much awake now, just need some practice and we'll topple the evil Russian empire, ANYWAY.


Wednesday, July 19, 2006

WEIRD CLUB BADGES

Was browsing through F365 forums as usual and saw this really interesting post about how some clubs have weird club emblems and badges. Below are the suggested list of teams that should change their badge.

Oxford United


Erm, it's just wrong. It looks like an ox that is completely knackered and about to fall asleep. Rather cartoonish, eh?

Dunfermline Athl.


A club with a really weird name. And the club emblem didn't disappoint us. Looks like, a haunted house. Or rather those houses you read in fairy tales, made of candies.

Buxton


So...is the deer, or the buck, going to commit suicide by jumping down the cliff?

Tottenham Hotspur


Never, EVER put a cock together with a ball. It just doesn't mix well and it'll be a laughing stock.


Winner: Millwall



What do you see from this badge. 2...lions? And...a flattened Batman? Okay take a look with a different perspective. Firstly, it looks like a clown's face. See? The 2 'red stuff' are the eyes, the flattened Batman is the nose and the words below makes it looked like its grinning.

Uhm, and, are the two 'lions' trying to do a high-five?

THIS SHOULD BE OUR HOME JERSEY NEXT SEASON...

It's been spreading around all over the net and many believed that this will be our home jersey for next season. Adidas has kept all of us in the dark, but with the release date closing in, we might have already seen the home kit.


Okay, what's with the collar? It looks a little weird, but still, I kinda like it. I'll pick this shirt over the other two if this is the genuine version.


THE REASON WHY HAMANN LEFT BOLTON FOR MANCITY

Because....

So Hamann made history by becoming the player that spent the least time at a club, by signing for Bolton from Liverpool, and then went on to ditch Bolton for Man City. Of course this puzzled a lot of people as to why Hamann did this. Is it because of a miscommunication between Liverpool, Bolton and ManCity? Or is there any other reason...

THE real reason why Didi Hamann snubbed Wanderers has been revealed . . . the Bolton accent!

The German midfielder had signed a contract to join Bolton and was all set to switch to the Reebok earlier this month.

But Hamann, who was being released by Liverpool, began to have second thoughts after he learned Manchester City were prepared to double his contract offer from Bolton to two years.
continued...

And the clinching factor in changing his mind came when he popped in for a burger near Wanderers' ground reports today's Sun.

They report: "Hamann, 32, was shocked to discover that he could hardly understand a word any of the locals were saying.

"A source revealed: "Didi speaks decent English but with a heavy Scouse accent having spent seven years on Merseyside.
Now you know, it's because of the accent. But I have a question. Why can't he understand the Bolton accent if he can understand Jamie Carragher??


Tuesday, July 18, 2006

EVEN HIS CAR WASN'T SPARED......

You thought Zidane only head-butted Marco. Well, maybe not...
















:D

FLYING THE KUYT?

Liverpool are on the verge of completing the signing of Feyenoord's Holland international striker Dirk Kuyt.

Boss Rafa Benitez will finally get his man in the next 48 hours, according to the Daily Mail, after bombarding the Dutch club with a number of offers, including part-exchange deals involving Jerzy Dudek and Jan Kromkamp.

Kuyt was due back for pre-season training at Feyenoord on Monday but the club have given him seven days off to sort out his future.

Benitez had been worried that the £13.75 million asking price would scupper the deal but Liverpool are now investigating claims that the player has a £10.3 million release clause in his contract.

Kuyt scored 22 goals in 33 league games last season but now wants to play in England.


Drogballs: Not impressed with his performance during the World Cup. But if Rafa thinks he's good enough, then it's alright with me. Usually players who suck at the WC are the ones that perform in the leagues. Anyway it's only just a rumour so let's just sit back and wait for the latest.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH CHELSKI BEING 2ND SEEDED TEAM?

Liverpool Among Top Seeds In Champions League

But of course, we need to qualify first before we can be credited with the honour of being one of the top elite clubs in Europe. The draw for the qualifier will be drawn on the 28th July and if Liverpool successfully enter the competition, they will not face any of the top sides in Europe as well as Chelski (NOT AGAIN) and the fellow English teams. Chelski meanwhile, will face one of the top seeded teams (not Liverpool for sure due to country protection). Below are the ranking:

Top Seeds:

1 Barcelona (Spa) 127.0pts
2 Real Madrid (Spa) 120.0
3 Inter Milan (Ita) 112.0+
4 Liverpool (Eng) 105.9
5 Arsenal (Eng) 101.9
6 Man Utd (Eng) 100.9
7 Valencia (Spa) 95.0
8 Lyon (Fra) 89.7

Second seeds:

9 Porto (Por) 87.5
10 PSV Eindhoven (Hol) 81.6
11 Bayern Munich (Ger) 80.9
12 Chelsea (Eng) 79.9
13 Roma (Ita) 76.0
14 Ajax (Hol) 60.6
15 Celtic (Sco) 60.0
16 Lille (Fra) 54.7

Okay, this standing looks more reliable than that sh*tty FIFA World Rankings. It's based on club performances in Europe over the years and this bring me to another point, that is..

Chelski 2nd Seed? So Fooking What?

Yes, so I was reading the Newpaper today and was kinda shocked to see some biased newsreporting, okay maybe not. I'm not someone that takes the Newpaper seriously anyway. So this dude was complaining about why Chelski should be among the elites and should be awarded the top seeds. But come on, what has Chelski done in Europe for the past 5 years, bar the last 2-3 years when Abramovich came and bought them some toys and made them rich? Can you remember the Chelski of old? Mediocre at best and did they even win a European cup? The answer is of course NOT.

If I'm working for UEFA, I would've done the same thing anyway. What they have achieved over the years should not be glorified further and it's just a taint in planet football. The type of mentality they have imparted is wrong and do all the commentator really MEAN it when they say 'Chelsea brought freshness to the Premiership' ? My ar*e. Their presence does bring more competitiveness to the league, but are they really challeging in the fair way? When you have Duff, Robben, Cole, SWP and so many others playing in the same team, is it just squad depth, or just undermining a player's career? Why do they try to stop others from signing a player by upping the price? Why do they tap up other team's player? Why do they have a bunch of players that have absolutely no respect? You know the answer, right?

How much they've spent on players, we ALL know. You can safely say they bought their way to success. But did you ever see me complain about how ManYoo splash 24mil on a player? No, because they EARNED it themselves since their founding day and due to their excellent management, they have the achievement today. Chelsea? They'll be remembered just for having a f*cking sugar daddy, spoon feeding them while Mr. Abra milks motherland for more cash and roubles.

Sorry for another senseless rant, but I think Chelsea deserves this, absolutely.


AND ANOTHER ONE....

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk. He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.
Two o'clock, and no hired hand.
He returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.
"Unbutton my blouse and take it off." she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed.
"Now take off my boots."
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
"Now take off my stockings."
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt."
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire
light.
"Now take off my bra."
Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to
the floor.
"Now," she said, "take off my panties."
By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
Then she looked at him and
said,












"If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."

I JUST CALLED....

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Hong Kong and the place is absolutely packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience he asks if anyone would like him to play a request.A little old Chinese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord ! Play a jazz chord!".

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes.

When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord".

A bit cheesed off by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor chord and really tears the place apart.

The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical
expertise.

The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz chord".

Well and truly cheesed off that this little guy doesn't seem to
appreciate his playing ability.

Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart ass. You get up here
and do it."

The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mic and starts to sing .....

...











" A jazz chord, to say, I ruv you..."


Drogballs: I know I'm a chinese and shouldn't be laughing at this..but still...

NAME YOUR COMPANY'S URL PROPERLY, PLEASE

10 Most Misleading URL:

1. A site called ‘Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name… wait for it… is
www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at
www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Power Generator company…
www.powergenitalia.com

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales:
www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you’re looking for computer software, there’s always
www.ipanywhere.com

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky website:
www.speedofart.com

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at
www.gotahoe.com


Speed of fart? Hahahahaha.......Oh dear.

Monday, July 17, 2006

POT, KETTLE AND BLACK


'If he stays in England, I think he can turn things around. I think football players should play a lot and talk very little. He should keep quiet and do his job" - Jose Mourinho on Cry-naldo



It's not a pot calling the kettle black.





It's a tosspot calling the kettle black.

POOR, POOR, VIILLAINS

If you're not aware, the Aston Villa players had a revolt few days back and wanted Deadly Doug Ellis to get out of Villa. Footballers can be smart some times....

It alleged that physiotherapist Alan Smith could not claim for a cup of coffee on a foreign trip, that Ellis had refused to water the pitch because of a £300 charge and that the players were unhappy at the release of two part-time masseurs.

But Ellis has ridiculed the notion that a club employee would want to claim for something as trivial as a coffee, and has dismissed halting the watering as nonsense.

Two masseurs out of an original four, earning £22.50 per hour, have been released but only because the club claims it is over-laden in that department.

Juan Pablo Angel and Patrik Berger are said to be the only players who regularly use the service and Villa have five qualified physiotherapists who can provide massages.

I can't help but laugh.

OUCH !




What a punch!

Sunday, July 16, 2006

HOWEVER LONG IT TAKES, I WILL GET HIM

Benitez Confident Of Alves Deal:-

Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez remains confident he can seal a deal for Sevilla fullback Daniel Alves.

Benitez says the Spanish club's stance over their £12 million asking price is merely a negotiating tactic and is adamant that his friendship with the Seville president will see the deal go through.

The Mirror says Rafa has told friends that "however long it takes I will get him."


Drogballs: What a man! I bet Alves is crying now, after reading this. Such a faithful man, hard to find eh? Anyway I really hope Alves does come to Anfield. I could sense that he is eager to join, it's just that Sevilla are trying to be funny and holding us hostage. Anyway in Rafa we trust, even if he doesn't come, I'm confident he'll bring in someone else.


REDS VICTORIOUS IN FIRST FRIENDLY

Friendly
Liverpool 2 - 0 Wrexham

Scorers:
LIV - Anderson (6min), Bellamy (52min);


Liverpool got their pre-season friendly campaign off to a winning start after goals from Paul Anderson and debutant Craig Bellamy gave them a 2-0 win over Wrexham at the Racecourse Ground on Saturday.

The breakthrough came when Riise made the first of what would become a series of powerful runs down the left and when he crossed to Anderson at the far post, the former Hull youngster treated the sell-out crowd to a wonderful volleyed finish. Reds boss Rafa Benitez handed debuts to Craig Bellamy and Gabriel Paletta in this game and they both showed good touches despite an obvious lack of match sharpness.

Paletta was substituted in one of eight change
s made by Rafa at the break, but Bellamy stayed on and he scored a debut goal to make it 2-0 after 52 minutes. The half time introduction of Robbie Fowler meant that Rafa could have a first look at one of his potential strike partnerships and it took seven minutes for them to click because it was Fowler's pass that allowed Bellamy to run on and steer the ball passed Jones and into the net.

Bellamy was substituted soon after, but he looked well happy with his
day's work as he shook hands with his Manager on the touchline. It took a good save from Jones to stop Pongolle from making it 3-0 in the 70th minute, but we were to see little more goalmouth action as the clocked ticked down. Rafa Benitez will be pleased that he has been able to give so many of his squad a run out and they will head for Crewe next week looking to step up their preparation for the new Premiership season.


Liverpool: Dudek, Roque, Paletta, Hobbs, Finnan, Riise, Zenden, Guthrie, Anderson, Bellamy, Idrizaj. Subs - Martin, Smith, Antwi, Hyypia, Diao, Peltier, Hammill, Fowler, Sinama Pongolle, O'Donnell, Threlfall;


Drogballs: A good start to the pre-season friendly. Not the thumping everyone was expecting, but a fair results nevertheless. Nice to see Craig Bellamy getting a goal and some reports suggest that Paletta was pretty good as was Hobbs and Paul Anderson. Remember, that the season is not a sprint, but a marathon. I would rather see us win 2-0 now and winning the league rather than thrashing them 7-0 and then run out of steam in the Premiership.


awwwwwwwww. lucky kid..