You Don't Say.....Part 4

* "I like the food, it has been excellent. I especially enjoy fish and chips" - Carlos Tevez

* "There were chants of 'England's number one' and 'England's number two' all game. But after the goal, there were a few chants of 'England's number four'" - Ben Foster concedes a goal...to Paul Robinson

* "Of course, the money is fantastic but when I was a youngster coming through I played for nothing and my attitude hasn't changed since then. Take the money away and I would still be the first player into training the following morning" - John Terry. And for your information, his contract talk with Chelsea has stalled.....

* "Can Lampard and Gerrard play together? They can. They can. They can" - Well, Steve McClaren, if you say it three times it must be true.

* "Gentlemen, if you want to write whatever you want to write, you can write it because that is all I am going to say. Thank you" - Steve McClaren

* "Nobody can stop him. Probably the only way to do it is to kill him" - Patrice Evra

* "What happened before doesn't matter. What matters is the history we make now" - Frank Lampard

* "I'm not superstitious, but every time she comes we lose" - Steve Coppell welcomes his mum to Reading games

* "I've got this thing about a fat, lazy nation" - Sam Allardyce has been looking in the mirror

* "I'm very confident I'll be here next year, because I honestly don't think there's a better man for my job" - Stuart Pearce

* "Sam is massive in every sense" - Bolton boss Sammy Lee has a right pop at his predecessor

* "I guess when you've invested £500million, it's a fantastic season to win the League Cup" - Liverpool's Rick Parry rises above the petty banter with the Special One

* "A kid had some statements not showing maturity. Maybe a difficult childhood, no education, maybe the consequence of that" - Jose Mourinho turns nasty in his spat with Cristiano Ronaldo

* "Liverpool are favourites because in the year 2007 we've played 27 matches and Liverpool have played three or four" - Jose Mourinho

* "Football is made up of subjective feeling, of suggestion and, in that, Anfield is unbeatable. Put a s**t hanging from a stick in the middle of this passionate, crazy stadium and there are people who will tell you it's a work of art. It's not - it's a s**t hanging from a stick" - A whole planet, bar the ones in red from Liverpool, unite behind Real Madrid legend Jorge Valdano

* "I am a Libran, and we like to procrastinate. That's what we do. We don't sit on the fence as such, but we like to chill and see how things pan out" - Mark Viduka

* "My fondest memory of him is his passport picture - it was a Panini sticker of himself. He was a legend" - Michael Duberry reminisces about the days he used to play with Mark Hughes in a moment of nostalgia fit to end any season

You Don't Say....Part 3

* "I'm busy but if I wasn't I would be there digging the pitch up" - Jose Mourinho pays tribute to the Stamford Bridge mudpatch.

* "I feel like a badger at the start of the mating season. I don't know if you know anything about badgers, but they have to wait a very long time for the season to start and then they get two weeks to do all their mating. You can imagine what a badger feels like then - even the females can't wait for it! That's how I feel now. I'm absolutely chuffed to bits" - Plymouth boss Ian Holloway puts qualification for the sixth round of the FA Cup in context.

* "It is obviously not our dream to have to go to Blackburn. It's hardly the most fantastic place touristically" - Arsene Wenger

* "Did you used to play for Barcelona? Because that's not Barcelona football" - Cesc Fabregas endears himself to Mark Hughes

* "Cristiano is the only one to have his personal mirror in the dressing room. He spends hours doing his hair and putting on his gel" - Patrice Evra

* "Managers need to cool down, they're all getting stressed for no reason, it's just a game of football. It's not difficult to do, I'm quite a cool dude really" - Roy 'Lebowski' Keane

* "I missed out on signing a Chinese striker in January. You know the guy - Win One Soon" - Paul Jewell

* "Arsenal have great boys. But I wouldn't be sad if a club gives me three, four, five years and tells me, 'You don't need to win. You can lose Premiership after Premiership, and you have three, four, five seasons to build'. I wouldn't be sad" - Jose Mourinho


* "I think Jose should button his lip until the end of the season because he is the last person to start talking about referees. His football club have been involved in so many things with referees over the last couple of years. It seems to me if you contest against Chelsea and they don't get their own way, then something happens either with referees or players threatened or things like that. There is plenty to talk about with Jose and referees and Chelsea and referees. We have a big file" - Sir Alex Ferguson


* "Why should I shut up? He was allowed to talk about referees for the last 20 years of his career? What's the difference between me and him? I don't understand. Why should I shut up? I'm not allowed to talk about referees, but he was allowed to do it for the last 20 years of his career. What would he say if Chelsea win a match with a penalty, like they did at Middlesbrough and Tottenham, or the penalty they got in the first minute against Portsmouth?" - Motormouth Jose

* "You do get stick if you do not win enough games. It is important I shield the players. One thing for sure I have got to go in and pick up 36 players to get ready for Chelsea" - Stuart Pearce, who could have put a team of 36 players out against Chelski and still not won.

* "I don't feel integrated into English life at all. We cannot speak English, we don't know the culture and we are scared of appearing rude. My two children are in nursery and I didn't realise we should take a cake for the rest of the class on their birthday. In China, we don't do things like that" - Sun Jihai

* "Mutu, like a good gypsy, has tried to be slick. Then again, all Romanians are slick, they have it on their DNA" - Palermo president Maurizio Zamparini

* "I don't know why they carry on like that. Maybe some people don't like me. Maybe it is because I am too good for them" - Cristiano Ronaldo

You Don't Say....Part Two

* "Paddy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. By the look of the photographs he was also with someone who was hungrier than he was" - Neil Warnock responds after Sheffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny had his eyebrow bitten off in a Halifax curry house.

* "His head has gone, he's going to miss this" - ManYoo captain Gary Neville to Neil Lennon, according to Lennon, just before Louis Saha missed a penalty in the Champions League.

* "It's Jose, he's panicking already" - Sir Alex Ferguson's response to his phone ringing in a press conference. In December.

* "Football's a difficult business, and aren't they prima donnas?" - Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II knows her stuff.

* "The ever-smiling Steve "Magnificent" McClaren is without doubt the most two-faced and false person that I have ever had the misfortune to meet in football, who should first spend his time actually trying to understand his own players' mentality instead of wasting so much time trying to understand the English press. I was absolutely shocked and totally disgusted by the way he treated me. Only in England could such a man with such obvious and limited abilities be made national coach" - Massimo Maccarone

* "It's a load of nonsense. We were all gutted to lose at Arsenal and all disappointed. But to criticise our stamina is absolute nonsense. I am not sure what he is doing or why he has done it. I think he is just trying to make himself look great again, you know. It is all 'Look at me, I am the great Arsene Wenger'" - Sir Alex Ferguson

* "It's alright, I'm not going to steal your breakfast, you fat prick" - What Joey Barton said to a certain tubby midfielder...

* "I have disconnected myself from West Ham and signed a contract with Liverpool. I can consider myself a Red Devil" - Javier Mascherano

* "I watched a bit of the England game then turned over and watched a Victoria Beckham documentary instead" - Reading's Steve Coppell.

You Don't Say.... Part One

After every season, we look back to the things that happened and we sometimes, laughed at it. Sometimes, we cry about it. Good goals make us feel a little happier inside but the best thing to do especially after a season is none other than looking back at the quotes made by various players and managers.

Nothing better to look back and see who had their faces dirtied by eggs or got fat because of too much 'humble pie'.


* "A select group? The champions will come from a select group of one" - Peter Kenyon

* "I haven't laughed so much since Ma caught her tits in the mangle" - Ken Bates responds to Chelski's accusations of racism.

* "That's what he said. We wouldn't make it up" - The Leeds United website, after hacks phoned up to ask if Bates' quotes were accurate.

* "Makelele is not a football player, Makelele is a slave - Jose Mourinho's verdict on the Chelski midfielder's France call-up despite his 'international retirement'.

* "He reminds me of the sort of players 15 or 20 years ago. He looks like a Seventies player with his haircut" - Chris Coleman hails Jimmy Bullard, just days before everyone's favourite midfielder was ruled out for the season.

* "If there was a possibility of signing Titus Bramble, I would do it right now. He is a quality defender" - Jim Magilton

* "I had a bust-up with Schmikes (Peter Schmeichel) once. He was towering over me and we're eye to eye. I'm looking up and thinking 'If he hits me, I know I'm dead'. The other players were almost covering their eyes" - Sir Alex


Stay tune for more on 'You Don't Say'.