* "Paddy was in the wrong place at the wrong time. By the look of the photographs he was also with someone who was hungrier than he was" - Neil Warnock responds after Sheffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny had his eyebrow bitten off in a Halifax curry house.
* "His head has gone, he's going to miss this" - ManYoo captain Gary Neville to Neil Lennon, according to Lennon, just before Louis Saha missed a penalty in the Champions League.* "It's Jose, he's panicking already" - Sir Alex Ferguson's response to his phone ringing in a press conference. In December.
* "Football's a difficult business, and aren't they prima donnas?" - Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II knows her stuff.
* "The ever-smiling Steve "Magnificent" McClaren is without doubt the most two-faced and false person that I have ever had the misfortune to meet in football, who should first spend his time actually trying to understand his own players' mentality instead of wasting so much time trying to understand the English press. I was absolutely shocked and totally disgusted by the way he treated me. Only in England could such a man with such obvious and limited abilities be made national coach" - Massimo Maccarone
* "It's a load of nonsense. We were all gutted to lose at Arsenal and all disappointed. But to criticise our stamina is absolute nonsense. I am not sure what he is doing or why he has done it. I think he is just trying to make himself look great again, you know. It is all 'Look at me, I am the great Arsene Wenger'" - Sir Alex Ferguson
* "It's alright, I'm not going to steal your breakfast, you fat prick" - What Joey Barton said to a certain tubby midfielder...
* "I have disconnected myself from West Ham and signed a contract with Liverpool. I can consider myself a Red Devil" - Javier Mascherano
* "I watched a bit of the England game then turned over and watched a Victoria Beckham documentary instead" - Reading's Steve Coppell.