Soccer ace Christian Okpala, 30, beat up a team-mate for repeatedly breaking wind and has been sacked by German club Stuttgarter Kickers' - The Sun.
'A South African man has been fined $140 for taking a week off work, telling his employers he was pregnant. Harles Sibindana, 27, stole a certificate from a clinic during his pregnant girlfriend's checkup, a court near Johannesburg heard. He then added his own details to the note and submitted it and took seven days off work, seemingly unaware that only women consult gynaecologists' - The BBC.
'Obesity has become such an issue of political incorrectness that two brothers appeared in court yesterday charged with allowing a dog to get too fat' - The Times.
"You're a f**king coked-out whore; don't ever say you're my friend again!" - Paris Hilton sends her greetings to Lindsay Lohan.