Friday, July 14, 2006

WORLD CUP AWARDS: THE FOOKING SH*T XI

Worst XI Of World Cup 2006:-

Right, so things have settled down, I shall continue on with the World Cup Awards. It was Part One previously and now I shall present you, the first eleven made up of the worst players in the World Cup. They have stumbled, flopped and ended up a laughing stock, So now we can ALTOGETHER laugh at them. Here they are :


Goalkeeper: Zelijko Kalac (Australia)

If you're wondering who on earth is this keeper, then maybe you're not alone. But anyone who watched Autralia vs Croatia during the group stage will clearly know who this bloke is. Alright actually I'm contemplating of putting Fabien Barthez instead of him, but I still think that Barthez did all he could and being too short wasn't his choice either. Anyway this guy is a giant, standing at almost 2 metres and is AC Milan's 3rd choice keeper.

Er, yea so how good is this guy, who competed the position with Mark Schwarzer. Well, he let in one of the , if not THE softest goal of the tournament when the ball was hit low across and he got down well. But the problem is...it bounced on him instead, and went into the net. Gr
eat save! Never seen again though. It's a miracle a player that played one game could make me write so much.

Right-back: Cristian Zaccardo (Italy)

The only player to have found Buffon's net prior to the World Cup finals and it's his own goal. Not that he's here for his own goal, but his performance has been average, or maybe even below par. It's real hard to find sh*tty defenders in this tournament, as they all have been pretty decent. Not the 'best' choice there.

Centre-back: Khalid Boulahrouz (Netherlands)
He planted his studs right into Cronaldo's thighs and his defending has been, alright. He actually did really well again Argentina, but his nickname, 'The Canibal' speaks for itself. Needs lots of discipline to be a top class centre-half.

Centre-back: Goran Gavrancic (Serbia & Montenegro)

Ah, the myth of S&M. They went into the World Cup as the team with the BEST defensive record, only conceding 1 goals in 10 games and it wasn't even off the boots of the opponents. But they went home, carrying the dubious honour of the WORST defensive record, with 10 goals conceded in 3 games, 6 coming from the Argies and ended the tournament with a fantastic -8 goal difference.

Maybe the absence of Nemanja Vidic of ManYoo was the key factor, as this player was being drafted in to fill a pretty big pair of boots. But he was being constantly tormented by tricky dutch winger, Arjen Robben and was part of the team that got tonked 6-0 by Argentina.

Left-back: Roberto Carlos (Brazil)

One of the few high-profile flops of the tournament. The Brazillians must have been thanking God that he had finally retired from international football, after being held responsible for the winning goal that kicked Brazil out of the World Cup. The free-kick was floated in and there he was, lazing around at the edge of the box with his hands on his knees while Thierry Henry already made a run into the 6-yards box. After Henry slotted home the ball, he was still seen with his arms on his knees. Free-kick specialist? You're 'avin a laugh!

Midfielder: Wesley Sneijder (Netherlands)

Came with a pretty good reputation, as a youngster just break out of Ajax. But his partnership beside Mark van Bommel hasn't been impressive and his performance are quite simply, lacklustre. His passing are quite woeful at times and his shooting....not as terrible as the one below him....

Midfielder: Frank Lampard (England) - CAPTAIN

You have to wonder why I've handed him the captain's armband. Because he's been the sh*ttiest of the bunch to be honest. Won the 2nd best player in the world award, just behind another fellow 'big-profile, no performance' player, Ronaldinho, and quite simply showed why it was a mistake in choosing him for it. He is officially the player with the most number of shots at the goal for this entire tournament with 24 shots at goal and 0 goal in return. With or without the anchorman, he just couldn't click with Steven Gerrard and just lazed around the pitch, disappear and then pop up when the b
all appears near the 20-30 yard zone. What can you say when you're the first choice penalty taker for England, and missed it?

Midfielder: Ronaldinho (Brazil)
Everyone, almost, tipped him to be the star of the tournament, the one saviour to bring glory to Brazil again. But how the mighty have fallen. He was off-colour for the first game against Croatia, where he was tightly marked by Niko Kovac and given no space to move at all. He promised to deliver but talking it to the press and walking the walk is a totally different case. And so Brazil went out, with him coming up with one assist and 0 goals.

Midfielder: Mark van Bommel (Netherlands)
Should've provided the 'experience' to a rather youthful Dutch team. But all he did was to give away stupid, niggle fouls and yellow cards. He was not influencial in the middle of t
he Dutch team and looked a different player from the one that's playing at Barcelona.

Striker: Mateja Kezman (Serbia & Montenegro)
Remember him, in his first season in the Premiership season, donning the Chelsea shirt and saying 'I'm going to over-take Thierry Henry in the scoring charts soon' ? Well, that's the only thing this bloke have done that made me remember him. Again, as disappointing as the season when he wore the Chelsea blue, he couldn't find the net in the World Cup and his reputation as S&M's most potent striker is in serious doubt. But quite frankly, he's over-rated and a lazy player.

Striker: Ruud van Nistelrooy (Netherlands)

He might have scored a goal against the Ivory Coast, but his performance overall is just as bad as any of his ManYoo colleagues in this World Cup. Louis Saha came on the sub bench twice to get booked twice and got banned from the Finals. Wayne Rooney and Cry-naldo...well we all know what happened. It's up to the van Horseface to save the day! But sadly, nothing of note, no movement, no pace and no passion. I think he looks a pale shadow of his former self for most of the games.

Agree or not? Do drop your comments!


4 comments:

The Bengali Fob said...

I loved this! It was funny and so true for some of them. But I think there were more bad players than that.

Drogballs said...

haha yes of course they're worst! these are just some of the big stars that failed to live up their reputation I think.. cheers!

Anonymous said...

honorable mention-I'd have to vote for Landon Donovan and Zlatan Ibrahimovic some people talk so highly of them,but had very poor world cup performences.OVERRATED!!!

I like that you put Lampard captain probbly the only chance of wearing a captain's band

peace

Drogballs said...

Hmm Donovan was so anonymous that I couldn't even remember him playing! Yes and Ibrahimovic is another of those big stars that..ah he's over-rated so I excuse him from that :D

oh I thought he's the captain of Chelsea? hahaha speaks alot about them!